“I am my own greatest fan”: what took me years to understand

A CEO from a finance firm said it with sparkling eyes. Someone I genuinely respect. And yet my first reaction was to judge: arrogance, self-sufficiency. Until I pressed pause — because that reaction said something about me, not about him.

What my judgment revealed about myself

I would never have been able to say those words. Giving everything to earn recognition from others? Yes. Granting it to myself? No. I had normalized this imbalance for years without ever naming it.

This CEO, someone I admire for his business acumen, his ability to bring teams with him, his sharp mind was recognizing something in himself, at the right measure, without an audience. And that self-recognition gave him solidity when his board or his teams truly challenged him.

The exercise in an airport lounge

I tried doing the same. A weekend alone at home: nothing. A walk in nature: nothing. It was in an anonymous airport lounge, where no one knew me, that I managed to write a few qualities reluctantly, as if I were risking something.

Listening. Courage. Discernment. Sensitivity. Written slowly, as if arrogance might catch up with me.

It is not arrogance, it is a quiet armor

What came naturally to him, I needed an airport and anonymity to access. This is not self-promotion. It is the ability to stand firm without first needing someone else to confirm you should.

A leader who cannot recognize themselves is always seeking external validation to move forward. It is a silent vulnerability, all the more treacherous because it so often passes for humility.

Training yourself to recognize your worth without an audience

Since then, I have been practicing. Not flattering myself. Naming precisely what I do well, what I bring, what I embody without immediately erasing it. It is a muscle. It develops with use.

If no one were watching, which two qualities would you acknowledge in yourself without erasing them immediately?