A note slipped under a laptop: an unexpected lesson on leadership presence

It’s 8pm on a Paris-Geneva train. A young woman sits opposite me. Busy, absorbed in her to-do list, little attention for what’s around her.

I see myself twenty years ago. Head full of a thousand sticky notes. Everywhere except in the present moment.

She takes a call. Starts to cry. Leaves the carriage.

The gesture I shouldn’t have made — and made anyway

I slip a small note under her laptop mouse. To say I don’t know what she’s going through, but if she’d like to talk during the two hours left of the journey, I’m here.

It was an ‘effort’ for me — I tend to be reserved with strangers. What will she think? Is this too intrusive?

She comes back. Sees my note. Smiles at me through her tears.

What she was carrying — and what I had once carried too

It’s the week of her return from maternity leave. She’s just changed role and is already travelling. She feels like a bad mother for leaving so soon, and fears she’s not meeting the expectations of her new job.

And I see myself — fifteen years ago. CHRO, pregnant with my second child, in the middle of a restructuring, rushing between reorgs and plant closures.

The feeling of needing to be more than perfect at work to compensate for being a mother. The feeling of needing to be more than perfect in the evenings to compensate for not being at school pick-up. And the feeling of never being fully there — not for others, not for yourself.

What we discovered together

We talked about guilt, about acceptance. About the small recovery bubbles — micro-moments just for yourself.

At 30, I thought working was how I recharged. Who I am today knows that was a mistake. By taking micro-breaks, doing one small thing for myself each day, accepting imperfection, accepting operating in ‘reduced mode’, not running the tank too low for too long.

She left energised — not because everything was fine, but because she’d sensed she had resources in herself and around her. And that she wasn’t alone.

What this tells us about leadership presence

You don’t need to be returning from maternity leave. You don’t need to be on that train.

The real question is presence. How many times does your team send you signals you no longer see — because you’re everywhere except in the moment?

Supporting someone through what you once went through yourself is both giving and receiving at once. And it’s often there that what you have to give is truly recharged.

→ Want to work on your presence and leadership posture? Book a session at manentiel.com